time to smoke my breakfast
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
tell me about the fingering
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