Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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