Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
try to milk me bitch
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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