I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
