I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
