fuck your aforementioned shoe
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
