I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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