I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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