Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
even my farts smell like vagina
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
