You're my little dorito
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she peed on how many people?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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