Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
