You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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