Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
