we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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