4 words: hood of his car
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
