Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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