I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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