I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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