Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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