Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
