We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dicks are not precious.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize