After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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