Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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