found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
