I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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