don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
