There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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