OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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