There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
