she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Less talking, more tequila
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
