I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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