Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Randomize
