I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
