just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
