She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
