Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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