white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
