I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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