your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
