just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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