So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
