You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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