Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize