Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
NoShamevember. You game?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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