She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
