"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
