Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
