can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
