don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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