I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
