I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
