Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
im six kinds of drunk right now
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
