I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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