Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
