I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
wat bout pragnant strippers??
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
